ive been told by my doctor that im underweight. ive always been skinny but now that my mom is pressuring me and this new bit of info i got from the clinic, im becoming worried about myself.

for the past two years, i would skip lunch (and sometimes breakfast) because i would stay in the library where food is prohibited. now my stomach is so small i cant really go further than 2 full plates without feeling bloated (which is quite something for the girl who used to be called the bottomless pit). now that i have a small stomach is hard for me to bring the weight i need to be a healthy size again. ontop of that, im eating less at home due to my mother making the same plate (beans and rice) everyday for the past 2 years, thanks to her Brazilian boyfriend. short story, im tired of eating that food so i only eat small quantities.

my mom refuses to change her cooking, so now i have to make tiny sandwiches to make up for food i dont eat. thats okay i guess but it wont make much of a difference overall. the fat i do produce seems to go to my thighs and not places like my arms or legs.

some people say that i would be great for modelling, and while thats cute of them to say, its not possible for me to become one. my scoliosis makes me look like a shark took a bite out of my right side. and i doubt anyone wants to see that.

so all in all, my mother calls me a deformity and talks bad about my appearance all the time. my self image has gone from being ugly to being deformed. ahaha great

i need to eat more

15 January 2014 at 12:01am with 20 notes

  1. zannyblogging said: *Hugs you* Maybe get microwavable dinners? Or noodles or takes outs from cafes?
  2. kagespookaru said: Lemme teach you the ways of being fat. Because I weigh like 260 pounds. ;n; Basically just eat lots of snacks and stuff your body tends to accomodate snacks more and it’s like hmmm I’m hungry all the time and then you get a bigger stomach from that.
  3. megane-tsukki reblogged this from dampho and added:
    Thats… yea wow
  4. freyacchi said: I would absolutely hug you, hun…I’m sorry and I wish I could help in some way. Here’s hoping you gain the weight that you need to!
  5. eyepatchseiko said: I’m very sorry to hear all that. I hope you at least know that you’re not ugly, and you’re certainly not deformed. Good luck dealing with weight management and your mother.
  6. cuddle2ol said: dude damn that suck, have you tried getting eggs and making like omelettes and boiled eggs and shit, like eggs are protine so unless youre ethically against eating eggs theyre pretty good at that kinda stuff
  7. eternaldragons said: well I’m not a doctor but you could try small “good” meals like…eat breakfast, half in the morning eat some crackers with cheese, then have some lunch and then half way the afternoon a sandwich or fruit or something, while you get used to : )
  8. localurbanmystic said: That’s a messed up situation, partner. I hope things can be sorted out.
  9. dampho posted this